Statler: You know, they could improve the whole show if they just changed the ending.
Statler: Put it closer to the beginning!
You must make a choice between these two things: either this man was, and is, the Son of God…or else a madman or something worse. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.
It takes passion to run a business. It takes discipline to run a brand.
Integrity is when our words and deeds are consistent with our intentions.
Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.
Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.
You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense.
Faith is loyal, unending confidence in the efficacy, sufficiency, and acceptability to God of what Jesus accomplished during his life and death on the cross. And we can have this confidence because his resurrection and ascension validate and vindicate that what he did was, in fact, acceptable to God. He has sat down at the right hand of majesty. It is done.
To bear the cross proves to be the only way of triumphing over suffering. This is true for all who follow Christ, because it was true for him.
Leadership requires two things: a vision of the world that does not yet exist, and the ability to communicate it.
Once you've tasted purpose, you can't be happy with just existing anymore.
Statler: There was something thrilling about being IN the show tonight.
Waldorf: Yeah, not having to watch it!
If you're just saying, “Hey, I'm doing this. I'm working to make money. I'm working to increase my status.” If that's all there is, I think you will find out that it's meaningless.
If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. You will heap burning coals of shame on their heads, and the Lord will reward you.
Most things make no difference. Being busy is a form of laziness – lazy thinking and indiscriminate action.
Leaders decide who gets a view, who gets a voice, and who gets a vote.
I never heard either of them speak ten minutes at a time, nor to any but the main point. They laid their shoulders to the great points, knowing that the little ones would follow of themselves.
More power is exerted by withholding opinions than by expressing them.
The very experiences you have resented or regretted most in your life - the ones you want to hide and forget - are the very same experiences God wants you to use to help others. They are your ministry.
Statler: So many of these shows are long and boring.
Waldorf: Yeah, they finally managed to make one short and boring!
Statler: Does that mean they’re getting better or worse?!
Get busy living, or get busy dying.
“Fight fire with fire” is the old cliché. But that’s silly. You fight fire with water.
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.
When heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on any man, it will exercise his mind with suffering, subject his sinews and bones to hard work, expose his body to hunger, put him to poverty, place obstacles in the paths of his deeds, so as to stimulate his mind, harden his nature, and improve wherever he is incompetent.
Courage is contagious. A critical mass of brave leaders is the foundation of an intentionally courageous culture. Every time we are brave with our lives, we make the people around us a little braver and our organizations bolder and stronger.
Gage: I acknowledge no rank that is not derived from the King.
Washington: You affect, Sir, to despise all rank not derived from the same source as your own. But I cannot conceive any more honorable than that which flows from the uncorrupted choice of a brave and free people: the purest source and original fountain of all power.
Veils hang at the entrances to the schools of literature; but they do not signify the prestige of elite teaching so much as the covering up of error.
Statler: What’s this fish doing in our box?
Waldorf: Same as us...suffering!
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
When people are financially invested, they want a return. When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.
Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.
All limitations are self-imposed.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? ...Halfway!
It’s amazing how someone’s IQ seems to double as soon as you give them responsibility and indicate that you trust them.
The Enemy doesn’t want you to fail. He knows you often learn from that and grow through it. Rather, he wants you to delay. To procrastinate. To linger. “Waiting until conditions improve” is music to his ears. Because the worst thing isn’t wrong action. It’s inaction.
A long habit of thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason.
It's easy to forget that the pursuit of happiness is not what life is about.
Die with memories, not dreams.
It is absolutely necessary, if you mean to make any figure upon the stage, that you should take the first steps right.
Remember there’s more to life than just staying alive.
The thing I remember best about successful people I've met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they're doing, and it seems to have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they're doing, and they love it in front of others.
Emergencies are seldom that. People are poor judges of importance and inflate minutiae to fill time and feel important.
Statler: Every week this show looks better to me!
Waldorf: Every week your eyesight gets worse!
You have to be odd to be number one.
Progress means getting nearer to the place you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turn, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.
We are healed to help others. We are blessed to be a blessing. We are saved to serve, not to sit around and wait for heaven.
Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?” And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.
The more you learn, the more you realize how much you don’t know. The most educated people are the most humble and patient. Or, ought to be.
Kites rise high against the wind, not with it.
Focus less on a 140 characters and focus more on God's character.
Oh the things you can find if you don't stay behind.
Self-worth equals your performance plus the opinion of others.
If you’ve ever asked why Jesus “had” to die, it reveals you don’t understand the gravity of your sin.
If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
Waldorf: Just when you think this show is terrible, something wonderful happens.
Waldorf: It ends!
Creativity is thinking up new things. Innovation is doing new things.
No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got.
When Moses went to the top of the mountain to get the Ten Commandments, he didn’t take a committee with him. Otherwise, he would’ve come down with 3 commandments and 7 suggestions.
You are not in charge of the pace at which others grow.
Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.
The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.
Statler: You think this show constitutes cruelty to animals?
Waldorf: Not unless they’re watching it!
We can have only one. And if we do not choose, we will end up with none.
The single worst thing you can do is entertain a ridiculous and dangerous idea in the name of being nice and inclusive. Far too often, we confuse kindness with cowardice.
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
Do or do not, there is no try.
As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has – or ever will have – something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.
Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.
Brands aren’t trying to go viral. They’re trying to become vital.
Your boos mean nothing! I've seen what makes you cheer.
Mediocrity will never do. You are capable of something better.
They say the week start on Monday, but the strong start on Sunday.
Advertising is a revealing time machine that merely accelerates what was going to happen anyway. If you’re good, advertising helps you grow ahead of schedule. If you’re bad, advertising just quickens your closure.
Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it.
Statler: You know, a show doesn’t have to be funny to be good.
Waldorf: Well what’d you think of this show?
Statler: It was good!
Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.
In the places I go, there are things that I see, that I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. I’m telling you this ‘cause you’re one of my friends. My alphabets starts where your alphabet ends.
There’s a difference between a good idea and a should idea.
So...why are you really here, local business owner?
Simply to hire a digital advertising agency who can shoot video, design your website, post on Facebook, run Google ads, and handle the marketing so you don’t have to?
Or are you here to bravely become a brand, wade into Wonderland, and see how deep this rabbit hole goes?